Hey everyone. It’s been a while (If you are reading this aloud, sing the Stain’d song.) Let’s have a real discussion for a minute. Nothing bad, just want to talk about some things going on with me.
If you follow our site or your new here, you have noticed it’s been a while since we have posted anything. The question asked is why the hiatus?
The answer is burn out. For the past few years, I have been on auto pilot. It was difficult for me to write from a place of emotion when it comes to anything. I felt like I was just pushing stuff out just to make sure stuff was being pushed out. I no longer knew how to have fun with this aspect of my life. And I do believe this has a lot to do with my depression at the time with not self-accepting myself. But not the main reason. I forgot how to have fun.
And I felt like that for years, but it’s been worse for the past year. I hit a wall hard. And I feel that it made more sense to not post at all than to give you something half assed that my heart was not into. Plus, we went from a site that discussed geek things to being a geek news site, and that became a mistake. News was never who we are. We are about sharing those feeling of passion no matter the fandom with all of you, I lost that. I no longer had passion about anything. I was just going through the motions because I felt like I needed to do that.
However, that feeling went away on Sunday night. On Sunday night my world changed forever. For the first time in 12 years, I took the stage to perform Drag on a spur the moment decision. And honestly it became one of the best god damn decisions of my life. In those 4 minutes, everything felt different. It felt like everything was right with the world. After the performance, I sat down at the table, watched the next performer, and took it all in. The only world I could describe my feeling at the moment, surreal. I went out back, took a deep breath, and called my wife. Also, my #1 fan. She told me “I’m proud of you.” No one could wipe the damn smile off my face.
After the show, I stood in the parking lot and cried. I cried for a good 15 minutes. Every emotion came to the surface, but I could feel the self-doubt that grew over those years start to fade away. I felt like I was home again. And that changed everything for me.
And that was the night Stella got her fucking groove back.
So, what does that mean for this site. Everything. We will occasionally drop some geek news, but that is not our focus. Our focus is to entertain you and ourselves. You will see a return of some article series; I am not saying which ones, but I am not for sure. Our podcasts will return bigger and better than ever with some new voices, and voices from the past.
But we are back and it’s time to show you why we are RANDOM EVOLVED.